Dear Lenten People,
Mark 10, eh? Have you read it yet? It’s a whopper.
Jesus starts right off the bat with marriage, moves to children, then takes on wealth and possession, predicts his death, deals with pride and ego of two disciples and then finally…he heals. It’s a roller coaster that I’m excited to hear Pastor Jeremy flesh out more in worship this week. He already started to tackle the through line of ego found throughout the chapter in his lecture, which you can listen to on this week’s podcast episode (click here). He packed in a lot of information and left me with a great deal to think about in my own life. So, I know I personally can’t wait to hear how he pulls us toward death and resurrection with our egos this coming Sunday.
Dying to our ego in order to live more abundantly.
It feels like this should be easy. But as I watch things unravel in the news, I realize how intrinsically we seem to be wired to “other” people.
I’ve realized this week with much going on in our state, denomination, and around the world, that I have struggled with the need to comment or say something on social media. I’ve had to ask myself, is it simply to share facts about what may be happening in the denomination, or to help lead from a pastoral place, or is there something else going on. Sometimes, I fear, I will fall into the trap of ego and start “othering” and “better than-ing” before I know it.
This habit we have of making sure we have the last word, or othering to make sure we are seen as “better-than” is for the feeding of our own egos. This is exactly what Christ invites us to die to in Mark 10. As I read all of the stories in this chapter and don’t want to become what Christ invites me to die to because this Lent, I really want, no I need, to be resurrected and shaped anew into loving the way Christ loves and letting go of this need to fill my ego.
Like Blind Bartimaeus who wants to see, I realize I too, want to be healed by Christ and try desperately to see others in the way Christ does.
If dying to my own will begins with prayer, like Pastor Jad said last week, then this week I add the spiritual discipline of almsgiving as a reminder that my life and blessings is not to serve my ego, but a gift from God to serve those in need, and those God calls blessed in the Kingdom.
Almsgiving is a Scriptural discipline not often talked about in our culture today, but deeply rooted in Scripture. The root of the word “alms” is found in ancient Latin or Greek words meaning mercy or pity. Charity is another understanding of this discipline which comes from the Latin word “caritas,” meaning love. Almsgiving, like we do with our Lenten Offering, is a sacrifice of generosity that is an outward sign of my love for others, and a practice to humble my need to feed my overindulgence of ego and self.
Each time I’ve found myself headed down that track of “I’m better than” or “I’m more right, just, or whatever” this week, I’ve started to put aside money to give away. It’s an act of humility that makes me look at another as equal, worthy, and full of grace and belovedness, and let go of my own ego. Half of it goes toward my Lenten Offering to support Missions’ new pilot program with high schoolers to become self-sustaining (based on the ZOE Empowerment models), and the other half to UMCOR to support the refugees in Ukraine. Let me tell you…so far just this week…I’ve got a pretty good sum to give away, and that’s not an ego-based statement, that’s a vulnerable confession!
What about you? What practice of humility can help you let go and die to “better than-ing” or feeding that ego? Is it almsgiving to remind you of others? I invite you into these practices to prepare your heart, mind, and soul this week for worship on Sunday, and let’s watch what God can do when we are really willing to die to some things in order to live in Christ.
Walking with you to be changed by Christ,
Jenn.